Horses Hate Me
by Queen of Air and Darkness
Summary: Written as a prize for Naynay1130. Glitch and Fix decide that Meghan needs to learn how to ride a horse, and Ash is in charge of teaching her. Tried for comedy.


**A/N: So, this was written as a prize for Naynay1130. And, yes, Meghan is supposed to be really stupid in this. Hopefully, it's as funny as it's supposed to be. But I think we all know I'm not particularly good with funny. **

**Read on!  
**

**Disclaimer: I'M NOT JULIE KAGAWA! Sorry.  
**

"Well," I let out a relieved sigh, hopping down from my torture chair of a throne after an hours-long subject hearing. "That went well, didn't it?"

Glitch, Fix and Ash stood there, watching me, most likely with my busy schedule in hand. Though why Ash was here, I wasn't sure. I normally (unfortunately) didn't see him while I was working. Even so, I went over and gave him a quick kiss. "Why are you here?" When he raised an eyebrow, I hurried on. "I mean, not that I don't want you here, but…"

He just smiled. "Ask Glitch."

I turned to Glitch, the question clearly written in my eyes. (I think.)

Glitch sighed. "Truthfully, my queen, that didn't go as well as we hoped."

"How so?" I asked. "Do you know how many people came. _A lot. _I think it went pretty well."

"But there are more subjects out there with problems or suggestions." My first lieutenant protested. "And they're not coming."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"If you went out into the Iron Realm, you would hear the whispers and such." Glitch said, and Fix chittered agreeably. "We believe the problem is that the subjects just don't know you well enough yet. They're skeptical of your leading abilities."

"And so what do you think we should do about this?" I asked, trying not be offended by my subjects' opinions.

"We think that if you took a tour, so to speak, through Mag Tuiredh, the subjects would warm up to you, grow more confident in your abilities." Glitch said.

"All right." I agreed. "So how are we going to tour? In a limo?" I offered, only half-jokingly.

The expressions on each of their faces told me there was a cold chance in hell I was riding around in a limo.

"No," Glitch said. "They can't see you that way. We were thinking you should ride a horse."

"A horse? Like an Ironhorse?"

"No," My first lieutenant said. "Like a horse even humans would use."

"Um…" I said. "I should tell you I'm not really the best with horses. I can't really control them."

"That's what Ash is for." Glitch said.

I whirled around to face my husband. "What?"

Ash smiled. "I'll be teaching you to ride a horse, my queen."

"Oh really?" Ash's smile just grew bigger. "When are we having these lessons?"

"Now." Ash said, and I squirmed.

"Do we have to?" I asked. "Are you all actually completely serious about me learning to ride a horse?"

They all just looked at me with perfectly solemn faces. I grumbled to myself for a second, then turned to Ash and said "Let's get this over with."

0Oo0oO0

A few minutes later, I stood before a horse that must have been at least five times my height. Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating. But only a little. "You expect me to ride that?" I asked, my voice increasing in pitch with every word, so the last word was a squeak.

Ash just smiled.

"How am I supposed to get _on_ it?"

"This, Meghan, is a stirrup." He pointed to a part hanging from the horse's saddle. "You step into the stirrup and haul yourself up."

I looked at the saddle dubiously, then tried to do as he suggested. The first problem was actually getting to a height in which I could put my foot _in _the stirrup.

"Here," Ash said, then put his hands on my waist and lifted me up, so I could step into the stirrup. I spread my arms instead, feeling the wind - which was much stronger at this height - ruffling my hair. It felt good. Free.

"Step into the stirrup and haul yourself up, Meghan." Ash said from below me, his voice slightly strained, and I reluctantly did. I looked down and felt my stomach flip-flop weirdly. I was really high up.

"Um, Ash?"

"Yes?"

"Did I ever tell you I'm afraid of heights?"

"Just don't look down."

"Kinda too late for that."

He sighed, but it sounded slightly amused. "Just face forward and try not to think about it."

I faced forward just fine. It was the not-thinking-about-it part that was hard. "Okay," I finally managed. "So how do I move?"

"You dig your heels into the horse's sides. But-"

Too late. I had done as he told me, and the horse was now in a full-out gallop.

"Ash!" I screamed, but my voice was lost to the wind.

_How the hell do you stop this thing? _I though, trying to remember. I had ridden a horse before, but those instances had been few and far between, and not for a long time.

_Okay. _I thought trying to calm myself down as much as possible when you're on a galloping horse. _Think about this logically, Meghan. If you use your heels to make it go, wouldn't you use your toes to make is stop? _I dug my toes into the horses flanks, but the only thing that succeeded in doing was making it go, if possible, even faster. Up ahead, I saw a tree, and the horse and I were headed right towards it.

Seemingly out of options, I bent my head and closed my eyes.

Suddenly, the horse halted, only feet from the tree. It was so sudden, however, that I was thrown over the horse's head into the tree, and knocked unconscious.

0Oo0oO0

A voice spoke in my ear, saying my name again and again. I opened my eyes and a face slowly came into focus. Black hair framed his perfect face, and eyes like moonlight stared back with concern.

"You're purty." I slurred, giggling. "Are you an angel? I want to kiiisss youuu." So I took his face in my hands and kissed him. "You taste yummy." I said, still giggling, when we stopped kissing. "I want to eat you _all _up!"

The angel looked very concerned now, and only said "Okay, Meghan. Don't worry, we'll get you healed soon."

0Oo0oO0

Several weeks later, after most of the scratches and bruises and other wounds received from my fall had healed - excluding my left leg, but that was healing perfectly fine in its cast - I rode through Mag Tuiredh in a limo, waving to my subjects out the window.

**A/N: Hehe. I liked the "angel". Hehe. **

**What say you?**


End file.
